August 2011
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Did Stephen Hawking Just Win the Most Outrageous... →
jtotheizzoe:
The Large Hadron Collider has analyzed enough data to eliminate the Higgs Boson with 95% confidence.
Looks like someone may owe Hawking a beer …
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Q: What does 0^0 (zero raised to the zeroth power)... →
Zero raised to the zero power is one. Why? Because mathematicians said so. […]
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Heisenberg and Schrodinger were in a car speeding...
mikerickson:
He comes to the window and says, “do you have any idea how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replied, “no but I can tell you exactly where I was.” Hearing this strange reply the cop decides to conduct a search of the car. After opening the trunk of the car he immediately returns to the front window where he startlingly asks, “did you know there’s a dead cat in your trunk?!”...
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scaly-liopleurodon:
Q- What are cats composed of?
A- Iron, lithium and neon: FeLiNe
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A Modern Sexual-Assault Tale
Man: Hello, I'd like to report a mugging.
Officer: A mugging, eh? Where did it take place?
Man: I was walking by 21st and Dundritch Street and a man pulled out a gun and said, "Give me all your money."
Officer: And did you?
Man: Yes, I co-operated.
Officer: So you willingly gave the man your money without fighting back, calling for help or trying to escape?
Man: Well, yes, but I was terrified. I thought he was going to kill me!
Officer: Mmm. But you did co-operate with him. And I've been informed that you're quite a philanthropist, too.
Man: I give to charity, yes.
Officer: So you like to give money away. You make a habit of giving money away.
Man: What does that have to do with this situation?
Officer: You knowingly walked down Dundritch Street in your suit when everyone knows you like to give away money, and then you didn't fight back. It sounds like you gave money to someone, but now you're having after-donation regret. Tell me, do you really want to ruin his life because of your mistake?
Man: This is ridiculous!
Officer: This is a rape analogy. This is what women face every single day when they try to bring their rapists to justice.
Man: Fuck the patriarchy.
Officer: Word.
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“(Trigger warning: rape, racism) Rape is bad. No one’s denying that, but that...”
– Michele Bachmann speech at a battered women’s shelter in Winterport, ME (2009)
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Don't let a bad day make you think you have a bad...
yes-butno:
- Karen Salmansohn
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